Shower Power

I apologize to all of you who have been clamoring for a new post.  A lot has been going on in the meat world and creating a Devil's breeze has taken a back burner.  But I will regale you with this tale.

There are two bathrooms in our home.  The upstairs bathroom is the Wife's.  Today, I decided just to use her shower, rather than going downstairs.  The problem is that , as a woman, she has abandoned the use of bar soap.  So, I was left to choose from her collection of liquid cleansers.  With a thick lather on my torso and arms  , I began to soap up my legs when I notice a very large bubble had formed between said torso and arms.

I then tried to recreate the effect on my back to attempt filling the bubble with farts.

That's all.  I don't have a punchline.  Just tried to make a soapy fart bubble in the shower today.

Do you still wish I would post more often?

Pissing the Time Away

A recent Sunday morning conversation...

Me: 2 minutes 20 seconds.

Wife: Huh?

Me: It took me 2 minutes 20 seconds.

Wife: Did you just time yourself peeing?

Me: Yup. Pretty impressive, right?

Wife: Why on earth would you do that?

Me: Why would you put a clock with a second hand in the bathroom?

Random Shower Thoughts #21

If Superman gets his powers from our solar system's yellow sun, then why doesn't he lose his powers when goes to other galaxies. Shouldn't there be a super corpse floating somewhere just past Pluto?

AND. If the sun's yellow light is so strong that it gives Superman all of his abilities, shouldn't it be so strong that it takes away all of Green Lantern's powers. After all his weakness is the color yellow.

Gglakk, indeed.

Pics From My Phone #3

Though I know I'm not supposed to, I will totally judge this book by its cover. And the cover leads me to believe it's the greatest book ever written.

So there is no need for my to waste time reading.

Sleep Talker

My beautiful wife and I were watching a movie last night. She started to doze off, so decided to forego the ending and go to bed. Once the movie ended, I decided to venture off to dreamland myself.

As I made my way through the darkness of the bedroom, the following conversation took place. I should mention that she talks in her sleep from time to time (this being one of those times).

Wife: Nothing?

Me: What?

W: Nothing?

M: Oh. About the movie?

W: No.

M: What are you talking about, Sweetheart?

W: Turkey, you know what I'm talking about!

M: I promise I have no idea.

This is where I realize she is still asleep. I lifted the blanket to get into bed and find that her leg is stretched clean over to my side.

M: Dammit, woman. Move your leg so I can get in bed.

W: TURKEY LURKEY!!! Don't you change the subject!

M: (laughing) I'm not. I just have no idea what you're talking about.

W: You're giggling. Why are you giggling, if you don't know?

M: That makes no sense.

W: (mumbles something) Television.

M: What about the television?

W: ....(silence)

That's it. That's where it ended. It's hard to sleep, when you're trying to piece together what could possibly be going on in that little noggin of hers.

So I whispered things in her ear to try to affect her dreams.

Pics From My Phone #2

The following sign resides in my hometown. In the proper context, it is to keep children safe as they climb around on a bronze cow statue outside of a dairy.

But I think similar signs should find themselves hanging behind the bars of Athens, TN.

Pics From My Phone #1

As I was going through my phone's photo album, I realized that there are alot of pics that I've taken with the intention of sharing them here on the Wind. I just never got around to doing so... until now. This is the first in a series of pics that, for some reason or another, I felt were humorous. Hopefully I remember why I took them, and can share. Otherwise, we'll just have to try to figure it out together. And with that, I give you the first installment.

I actually took this one while the Wife and I were on our honeymoon in San Francisco. My reaction was "Look! He thinks he's a people!"

Perhaps the Jaguar hood ornament makes him think he's chasing a cat.

Mile High.

The Wife is spending the next couple of days in Denver. She claims it's for work, but I think the gastrointestinal repercussions of Bacon Week may be the culprit.

As she was packing:

Me: I need to stop at the bank and get some singles, since you're gonna be gone.

Wife: Oh yeah? And why might that be?

Me: Daddy's goin' to the CAR WASH!!!

Wife: While the cat's away...

Me: ...the mice do menial chores, baby.